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Monday 26th 6:30PM
Tuesday 27th 10AM
Tuesday 27th 2PM
Thursday 29th 5PM
Saturday 31st 11AM
Wherever humans are, you’ll find the human desires there as well. And the thing about social media that everyone knows by now is the you’re often looking at the desire, the action the obtain the desired, the reality of having what you desire, and the feelings of unfulfilled hopelessness that can arise once you integrate the external object into your existence. We’ve gotten so good at the compounding we’ve started approaching the whole thing in the style of sideways in medias res, shortening that to “random”. But it also means we’re getting very good at telling a pretty emotionally and psychologically complex story in one image. Thousands of one image stories after the other. There is a science and an art to the bad crop, the typo, the pixelation, the messy editing since these are all signs of human life. The 3D shimmering through the 2D landscape. The one pair of natural teeth in the land of glow in the dark veneers. Recently, the tone has been a bit about escape and/or the way out being through but also the way out. Americans reaching the elder teen age of beginning to contemplate getting over themselves…we’ll fight about it first.
My life is currently a combination of premonitions and reminders which I am both relishing and feeling daunted by. I don’t normally feel disheartened for long, and that remains true, but it pours in at some point each day. The tide fills a little well of worry and discouragement that I then tend to draining. The loop is starting to feel good for me, as it keeps me more present than not. It’s water season, so it could be looked at via the trust and the fear of water. Almost every day I am talking myself through the value of trusting a moment over making an assumption. The tiny muscle that I can feel equidistant from my heart and my kidneys get stronger each time. I can now identify the location of the feeling, and I find that that helps. Mapping where to find the trust. I had a shower thought contemplating what my art is trying to tend to: “the simulation and material activation of desire and satisfaction.” The both/and of that. We are somehow faking it and doing it so for real at the same time. I wonder if this why fandom feels bigger than ever.
I’ve been talking and writing a lot about Believer, the dance I’m making, which means I’ve been talking and writing a lot about alchemical transformation and the onslaught of the “new human” (a term G told me about from Human Design which I’m adopting because it’s much swifter to say than what I was trying to say before.) What appears out of thin air, is attached to something like an alien organ, therefore reconfiguring the physics of the entity? How does it rot and what happens to the floor when it tries to seep into it? Does it sleep? How does it age? Where is it going? Can I make friends with it? When will rejection come? Can it grow me an organ? Does it build its environment? What does it hear and can it describe it to me? There’s something about the shows that I’ve seen over the past year where they all make a lot assumptions about what a human is and what a human does and how a human does it. And none of those things seem to be the topics either. I’m watching mind expressions through bodies, but we’re skipping the part where the mind and body make the human. As if that’s the easy thing, it doesn’t need attention. But I’m sitting there wondering why these actual humans are not acting like humans. There’s a kind of trend (?) in performance right now that is about detachment. Body empty, face empty. There’s so much to do that there’s no time to put the human in it. So the show is watching humans be robots. Fleshy robots. I wonder about it. Why is that? Mood stabilizers? I feel like I’m being told a lot, but shown the feat of 3D humans becoming 2D cutouts. I can’t quite place it yet but it seems to have something to do with an isolation between the mind, the memory, the feelings, the face, and the body. And the priority of feat. Complete the feat above all else. I tend to leave each show reflecting on the aesthetics of fascism and nihilism. Dance has finally reached blackpilled status? Dance is building the theatrical iteration new human?
From these recent Reiki sessions, I’ve become aware of how I receive the energy (in a Reiki session, I am channeling the Reiki—universal healing energy—through myself and out of the palms of my hands towards the focal point) as well. Not that I never thought about it, I feel the Reiki strongly moves through me, but I have always focused on where I am aiming and what resonances are echoing back to me. I’ve been pulling the Empress a lot, and there is something going one with my relationship to receiving, absorbing, accepting, welcoming, bringing towards. In the sessions I was becoming aware of my arms, my reach. I was reaching away from my own body towards the focal point. I was extending myself a little beyond my range instead of bringing the torso forwards or down. I was making the moment more work for myself. I’m pouring into my front, emptying out the back. Each time, as I let my weight reorient within and draw my arms back into the shoulder joints, I could feel the drop into the earth and heat of the Reiki spread. My reach was affecting the delivery. My reception of the force impacted the offering into the other. I’m learning to sit back a little, and watch. I do not need to fill the gap every time. This experience has translated well to other realms of art making, art watching, living, participating. Ideas are getting simpler. I am watching the urgency shift.
